I was the “yes” girl.
Whenever an opportunity was presented, I took it.
Whenever someone needed advice, I gave it.
Whenever someone asked me to do something for them, I did it.
I did it because I thought that was what a good friend would do.
I did it because I thought it would make me a bad person if I were to say “no.”
I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do.
During my freshman year of college, I attended a “self-care” seminar. A woman was sharing a personal story of how she was the “yes” girl. She explained that it all changed when she woke up and realized that in order to be a good friend to others, she had to be a good friend to herself. This meant that she had to learn how to say no so that she could properly take care of herself and manage her time wisely. Unfortunately, I didn’t value “me time” because I was living a life to please others. That all changed after that seminar.
It took some time for me to break that habit…it’s not easy to do. I even catch myself falling back into my old ways every now and again. However, I learned to listen to my body and find what I needed in order to function at my personal best. Below are 5 tips that I have learned over the years that have helped me significantly with not being the “yes” girl.
1. Set your goals. I have found that it’s so much easier to be productive when you set goals for yourself. Each week, I list out 5 things I want to accomplish. Take that time to figure out what your goals are and make them happen!
2. Plan ahead. By planning ahead, I know how busy my week is and can efficiently get what I need to get done, done. It’s not always easy and sometimes things come up, but by having a pretty clear idea of what your plans are, it makes it easier to follow through and manage your time wisely.
3. Learn to say “NO.“ Yes, it is completely fine to say no. It’s so much better to be honest and say that you can’t rather than adding it onto your already-full life plate. Remember that saying “no” doesn’t define you, nor does it make you a bad person. Make yourself a priority.
4. Value your time. Understanding the value of your time will help you to choose your commitments wisely. Prioritize so that you can get the most important things done. Try making a to-do list. By writing down everything that needs to be done in order of importance, you can see what you need to be doing first.
5. Ask others for help. It’s okay to ask for help when you need it because sometimes you just can’t get it all done on your own! I know it’s hard for all you Type-A’s like me, but your health & sanity comes first!